A buddy of mine works and teaches English over in Japan. Just today he sent me an email that made me chuckle. He gave his students a speaking assignment, where  they had to talk about something for 2 minutes.  The topic… the always fun, “The coming Zombie Apocalypse.”

And Kubota Gon came up with these gems below. Here’s the email Eric sent me, in its entirety:

I gave my students an assignment- they had to talk for 2 minutes about “The coming Zombie Apocalypse”

The very best one wrote this script, which he delivered totally deadpan. (I cleaned up the spelling and obvious grammatical errors, except where it just makes it sound better.)

1. I will make a wish that zombies can speak Japanese when they eat me.

2. I will study English desperately if zombies can only speak English.

3. If fish become zombies, the sea, rivers, and lakes will become danger zones.

4. If I catch a zombie, I’ll put it in the zoo for you to look at.

5. If I cover the zombie’s head with a deep sea diving helmet, he can’t bite me anymore.

6. How about adding one to the family, if we can tame zombies in the future?

7. Who cares if koalas become zombies, the only thing they eat is eucalyptus leaves. 

8. If we can eat zombies, that would help.

9. If zombies are delicious, we may not have a problem at all.

10. If we don’t protect the delicious zombies, they may become endangered.

11. Zombies would soon figure out that we are all zombies already.

I thought you might like that.

Yep. Did. Very much so.

… Koala zombies.   O.o