And… there was something missing.

I knew that Frank Durabont had been fired from the show, and that there were some pretty big edits to get the first episode of the new season ready to go, but I didn’t think it would be so evident that someone screwed up somewhere.

I expected the new episode to grab me by the gonads, and leave me wishing I could see the whole season in one fell yank. Nope. None of that. Instead, I watched characters being, well, stupid. You know the kind. The kind where that space between your eyes crunches up in a question a second before  you eject “What the hell was that?”

I’m pretty much through with 70’s and 80’s style storytelling where you  have protagonists screaming like banshees having hot coals applied to their naughty bits. So much so that when I do come across a character doing such a thing, it irritates me to the point of practically sacrificing virtual camels in hopes of seeing said character get quickly axed, shot, bit, torpedoed, exploded, imploded, hung, stretched, burned, nuked and so on. Yes, I hope that characters dies–quickly if possible, slowly is acceptable, as long as it happens.

I wonder if writers do this kinda thing on purpose, just to get back at writers that did it before to them. I just might try it. For shits and giggles.

I like this show a lot. The first season was short and ultra-sweet for me. I can only hope that the writers have some great plot lines in store for us in the weeks to come, and they do away with the stupid actions and reactions of the characters. There were a few stupid things that really bugged me… and please stop reading now if you don’t want spoilers. You stopped? Okay, here goes…

On the highway. Great idea. Great concept, but they already established in season one that these zombies go by smell, hence the one episode where one character says “They smell dead, we don’t.” And yet, all of them hide under the cars as the horde goes shambling by, with nary a corpse even twitching a nostril. Lucky characters that the zombies they encountered here were all wearing nose plugs.

Little girl running off into the woods. Cop character goes after her. Fine. There are two zombies chasing the little  girl. Cop catches up with the kid and stuffs her in an old tree to hide while he draws the two dead guys off. My problem here is that he’s a COP, he should be more than capable of taking down two dead things. Sweep the leg of one, fer gawd’s sake and start kicking!

Woman aboard motorhome, hides in can. That’s fine. Zombie comes aboard and checks things out. Again, smell factor is ignored here, and even better, she’s trying to put together her gun when she drops a piece on the floor. Zombie hears, tries to get into bathroom, upon which she starts screaming. My problem is that, again, last season, same woman basically sat on her duff next to her dead sister and waited until zombie sister was poised to bite her nose off, upon which same character calmly shoots her sister in the head. She  displayed mucho balls then. Don’t know where those balls got lost in the motorhome tho. Maybe it was cuz it was a different zombie? I dunno.

So anyway, yeah, I wasn’t impressed with the season  opener. Sunday night we get to see if the son lives. Probably will, but I like to see the writers have some balls and let him die. Surprise me. After the S2.E01. they gotta do something.

There’s word as well that Fox might be interested in doing a Zombieland series, based on the movie. I’m not so keen on that idea, mainly because of Fox’s Suits’ ability to screw up a decent storyline, and because Zombieland was more action comedy than suspense thriller drama.  I just fear zombies going the way of vampires. Yeah, we’ll have high school zombies that have learned to control their snacking urges, and sparkle when they get emotional.

So the first episode for this bunky was pretty much “meh.”

I hope they get `er right in the ones to come.